My experience by Brynlein

You do not understand

There is suppression

We are exiled

Queer should not be a slur to be afraid of being called

Queer should be a badge to wear with pride

Yet it is hidden

It is hidden behind locked doors

Suppressed into mental boxes

Thrown like bullets into the faces of those trying to enjoy life

Parents care more about our grades

Letters and numbers upon a screen

They care more about these than our mental health

Our lives

They care more about a grade than if we feel safe

In what was supposed to be our home

For many,

Our dwelling is no longer a home

For many,

We have found refuge in someone that must be kept secret

We want to wear our titles as they should be worn

As something to be proud of

But we must hide it

We have to hide who we truly are

Yet parents still ask why we never leave our rooms

Jobs have been denied to us

Careers shattered and terminated

Being queer is not something one can control

Being queer is not something one should hide

We should not be petrified of telling our families who we are

Not for fear of being exiled

Not for fear of being disowned

And certainly not for fear of being yelled and screamed at

I was 6 when I realized I liked girls

I thought I was no longer human

First grade and afraid

I never saw what I now know as same-sex couples on screen

I never saw them on the street

Never except that one time

I remember the venom my father spewed

The words my mother agreed with

It was the only time I had ever seen two girls on the street

“Look at those freaks. I can’t imagine my children being like them”

Those were his words

Laced with the venom of generations of homophobia

So for now I hide and state that I’m just an ally

Because I’ve already grown up with enough manipulation

That manipulation does not form confident people

It does not form people who want to stay